-shrugs- the fucking hair is staying, it is truly magnificent. No matter whether I face disciplinary action, the haircut is representation of my noble nimbus.
After getting in the house, I get messaged off Rebecca who tells me she's at her boyfriends, but he's gone to self-defence class (!), I eventually find his house, I'm waiting outside for her for a little while, because apparently her boyfriends room-mate doesn't like me. Oh well. I lost no sleep over that, more to come on that later. I find a group of young thugsters and get a light for my ciggarette, I sit on the wall cool and composed, as if I were the reincarnation of James Dean or someone ostenibly magnificent and comfortable in theur own skin as he.
Whilst I am waiting, in a flash of brilliant cosmic irony I am passed by a Mitsubishi Nimbus, I smile knowingly.
She finally appears, we joke and then once we get to the bottom of the street, we begin holding hands. Unfortunately we are limited to 1.1 bar until 12oc clock, as I only have a credit card, we drink some aftershocks, flirt shamelessly, and then go to the Buskers night along the road anyway.
By 12 o clock, we've moved to another bar, and she's insanely drunk to the point of falling around. We get in a taxi, and go back to Casa de Michael...
She is sick. Lots. My bed sheets are ruined.
However, after a while, she's feeling a little better.
After she's fell of my bed. And then recovered.
It's time to lick it.
It goes something like this:
Baring in mind, this girl was disgusted at the thought of oral sex up until two days ago. Now she's lying there panting like a recovering tuberculosis patient and referring to me as an Oral genius. She actually squirts.
I proceed deliver the best sex of my life thus far to her. She cums again.
I go down on her again, and finger her in a manner reminicent of squirters 2 [great porn movie by the way, and I highly highly recommend it]. Carresing her g-spot with the pads of my fingers. And unsurprisingly she squirts again... woooooo
I smile, a smile that would undoubtedly be percieved by anyone as the essence of complete self-satisfaction.
I fuck her somemore.... she gets on top. Squirts AGAIN!!
She says she wants me to cum inside of her, I'm like ermm no, you're not on the pill, I'm not wearing a condom anymore. She says to just do it. Sometimes these ladies say the most idiotic things in terrifying fits of passion. But eh. I don't. I splurge over her stomach.
Then fuck her again for good measure, although this time, admittedly slightly more lacklustre.
Good lay. We go to sleep.
We just sit around most of the day shooting the breeze, until she goes on my laptop, and I for some reason or other start slashing my left arm up with my new knife. She looks, and I just smile as if this was the most perfectly normal and natural behaviour in the world. We continue on with what we were doing.
Late afternoon, my drugs paraphenalia arrives via Royal Mail, and we go for a joint of Salvia, it makes me happy, it makes her happy. It is all good.
She's talking to her boyfriend on the internet when we come back, and she proceeds to mock him in the most deprecating manner, actually it's kinda like something I would do to entirely amuse myself. I realise I like this girl.
We talk more. I do actually get a little bit frustrated, like when the fuck is she going to leave.
We go for a quick drink, I'm starting to appreciate how good her sense of humour is, and then dissapears on the bus into the night wearing my beloved Members Only jacket and Velvet Underground t-shirt which is so fucking tight, it would make the most vehement homosexual male cringe.
I go into work to find out what time I start tommorow, and to buy black hair dye. I won't be able to use it. So my shift could very well be depressingly short.
Good times.
I am actually thankful on days like these where I've been given the willpower by God to transcend adversity, and have a second chance at banging 18 year old blonde girls. Where are others are doomed to a fate of banging warpigs for now until eternity, if they even get that.
-Michael
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