The effects of Salvia

I woke up this morning at 8:30, I realise I have less than 20 minutes to get ready and get to work. I get in, at ten past nine, and my manager immediately proceeds to send me back home. Furiously telling me not to come back until my hair is one colour. I go home, without a care, I've had one saturday off this year.

When I get back to my house, I realise that my phone is fucking broke, I can't call anyone. I decide to grab my vapouriser pipe, and the fucking Salvia divornum I ordered off the internet (!) and go down to the garage and smoke this shit by myself.

I sit down on the gym mats at the back, pour the salvia into the bowl of the pipe, take out my lighter and begin to take huge rips. I sit for 30 minutes and vapourise all of the one gram.

I start feeling weird. My body feels ostensibly different.

I stand up, and my vision becomes slightly blurred for a moment as I stare imperceptibly at the front wheel of my bike. I snap myself out of it, my mind starts wandering. I see parts of my life and the inspiration for everything I've done. It's an uncomfortable feeling. For a moment I actually want to cry, then that feeling vanishes.

I start to percieve things differently: I realise that all that matters is now. That's all that there ever will be and all I've ever got. I know this because I'm standing in a freezing cold garage, and the coldness emphasises that.

I begin to feel like the dude off Quantum Leap, except I'm not in anyones body, I'm in mine, but I begin to see things, I see the future, I see all there is, and ever could be, but I realise there is no future. No hope. Only now. I entirely realise the nature of the absurdity of existence. I wonder if Camus ever took Salvia. I begin to perceive failure and futility, but realise it's irrelevant in the grand scheme of things, because there is only this moment.

My mind wanders somemore: I see a plant with thorns, and become confused and disconcerted at it, even scared a little. It is very strange. I move away.

I'm standing, I look out of the broken window of my garage, and see my brother standing near the window. I feel like more of an outsider than ever before in my life. I crouch down, and hold onto the stunt-pegs of my BMX, I roll over to the gym mats where I vapourised the Salvia.

I stare at something, I have a sense of de ja vu, that I've been here before, and I will be again. Everything seems so normal but so different now.

I look outside and see the rain, and stare across at something or other. The rain looks beautiful. I begin to appreciate the beauty and nature of things.

Everything sems to be clearer now. I have a heightened sense of perception. I see hundreds of little things I had never noticed before, in astonishing clarity. It is beautiful, everything, even the rust on the door of the garage possesses a natural maginificence in this moment in time. In the Now.

As the Salvia starts to wear off, I wish I had a camera.

Everything is beautiful and glorious. Even as I write this, I have a strange sense of de-ja-vu.

My perception of reality is irrevocably altered.

It is beautiful and glorious indeed.

-Michael