It's not all bad now is it?
Tonights lesson is to be humble, because that is the real manly and most glorious way to go about things. Try your heart out. Never be afraid to try, and if you fail, well hey, at least you tried. You're a man, now take it on the chin. Get up, dust yourself down, and move on to the next.
''A loser is someone who tries and fails. Who shoots and misses. How many shots have you taken lately?''
Thursday 11 September 2008
Sunday 7 September 2008
Goals
My goals are to drop weight to Ten stone five.
> To be able to do 50 chinups unassisted
.To be able to do forty mph on the bike
>To be a faster runner
>To be able to run 7miles with ease
>30inch waist
>Ripped abs
>V shape
>5% bodyfat
by the 5/10/08
which gives me 27 days.
I'm going to do this by using a mixture of plyometrics, powerlifting, crossfit, Steve Cotter and Mike Mahler type stuff. Lots of cardio.
Todays workout:
-5 minute treadmill interval warmup
-50 reverse crunches
-1 minutes of reverse cycling
-50 burpees
-50 weighted box jumps
-75 closegrip press-ups
-50 straight-leg deadlifts into bicepcurls
-100 squats
-50box squats
-1000m row
-Sprint on bike until bonk* (*out of energy)
> To be able to do 50 chinups unassisted
.To be able to do forty mph on the bike
>To be a faster runner
>To be able to run 7miles with ease
>30inch waist
>Ripped abs
>V shape
>5% bodyfat
by the 5/10/08
which gives me 27 days.
I'm going to do this by using a mixture of plyometrics, powerlifting, crossfit, Steve Cotter and Mike Mahler type stuff. Lots of cardio.
Todays workout:
-5 minute treadmill interval warmup
-50 reverse crunches
-1 minutes of reverse cycling
-50 burpees
-50 weighted box jumps
-75 closegrip press-ups
-50 straight-leg deadlifts into bicepcurls
-100 squats
-50box squats
-1000m row
-Sprint on bike until bonk* (*out of energy)
Wednesday 3 September 2008
Peak Performance
I haven't posted in a while. My life is a little disorganised. Starting now, I'm going to get back on track to where I was before I stopped posting reguarly.
A few months ago, before I was kicked out of my house by my mother, I was starting to really get where I wanted to be. I was becoming increasingly motivated, I was ready to go for a new career in the Navy. I was fit, healthy, eating well, cool, funny, sociable, getting laid, purposeful, sticking to goals, I was reading a book a week. So on.
After I was made homeless, I was still purposeful, but only for a short while. I was motivated to make money, get a job, find a place to live, but whereas before I was made homeless, I was building for the future, everything became more short-term, more like building for today.
After about 3weeks or so, I moved back home, everything was comfortable at home again, the argument had stopped, I went back into my comfort zone, I reduced the hours I'd been working, well shit, I didn't need the money anymore, the meals were paid for. I stopped reading, because it was easier to watch the TV, I didn't feel the need to go to the gym so much, because I'd eaten badly for a few weeks, hadn't gotten fat, and I didn't look too shabby, my abs weren't as ripped as I'd like, but I wasn't looking too bad. My metabolism was obviously in order, why waste my time with the gym? Actually, not so long after I moved back, I bought a Nintendo Wii, and I was like, ''Awesome, the Wii keeps me fit. It's fun too, I can put on some 50 cent too and pretend I'm Floyd Mayweather as I flail around my bedroom, knocking out animated video game characters woooooo!!'
This went on, until I got bored of the Wii. I decided to go back to the gym, because apart from my shitty part time job, I didn't have anything else to do during the day. I got outstandingly fit, I was outrunning Grant Leadbitter on the treadmill, I was strong, agile, but still I didn't really give a fuck, in a way, even though I could run 10miles in little over an hour, cycle at 130rpm for over 3hours, lift heavy as fuck weights and do hit loads of chin-ups without breaking a sweat, I was just going through the motions. I'd finish a workout, have a protein shake, eat a steak and some vegetables, then about an hour later I'd be eating whole bars of chocolates.
Then I came into some bizarre notion, that I shouldn't even bother running or cycling anymore, even though I love running and cycling, because cardiovascular activity is lame, and all I have to do is lift weights, and I'll be like the Incredible Hulk.
This is like comfort zone deluxe city. Two years ago, I was fat and could barely lift anything, or run or cycle for anymore than 20minutes, now I'm happy to just coast through what would be my only productive outlet, because my ego has taken control, and now I believe that I can just eat whatever the fuck I want and so on and not do shit, and I'll still be in great shape.
Next, I go on holiday, and I end up losing my job.
I get motivated to quickly get a new one, but become increasingly disheartened at the way the 'system' works out. I don't want to work in a call centre, still, I go looking for a job everyday, then I just get fed up, and it's easier just to collect my dole money. Where the fuck is this going to end up?
Well, I've decided it has to stop.
I'm setting my own ground rules.
I can go to the gym, but only after I have been looking for a job EVERYDAY, in a serious fashion.
If I go to the gym it's to get in not only good shape, but faster, stronger, more agile, and will be accompanied by a workout PLAN which will be followed to the letter, EVERYDAY.
I read ONE book a week.
I will update this DAILY.
Peak performance has to start somewhere.
-Michael
Peak
A few months ago, before I was kicked out of my house by my mother, I was starting to really get where I wanted to be. I was becoming increasingly motivated, I was ready to go for a new career in the Navy. I was fit, healthy, eating well, cool, funny, sociable, getting laid, purposeful, sticking to goals, I was reading a book a week. So on.
After I was made homeless, I was still purposeful, but only for a short while. I was motivated to make money, get a job, find a place to live, but whereas before I was made homeless, I was building for the future, everything became more short-term, more like building for today.
After about 3weeks or so, I moved back home, everything was comfortable at home again, the argument had stopped, I went back into my comfort zone, I reduced the hours I'd been working, well shit, I didn't need the money anymore, the meals were paid for. I stopped reading, because it was easier to watch the TV, I didn't feel the need to go to the gym so much, because I'd eaten badly for a few weeks, hadn't gotten fat, and I didn't look too shabby, my abs weren't as ripped as I'd like, but I wasn't looking too bad. My metabolism was obviously in order, why waste my time with the gym? Actually, not so long after I moved back, I bought a Nintendo Wii, and I was like, ''Awesome, the Wii keeps me fit. It's fun too, I can put on some 50 cent too and pretend I'm Floyd Mayweather as I flail around my bedroom, knocking out animated video game characters woooooo!!'
This went on, until I got bored of the Wii. I decided to go back to the gym, because apart from my shitty part time job, I didn't have anything else to do during the day. I got outstandingly fit, I was outrunning Grant Leadbitter on the treadmill, I was strong, agile, but still I didn't really give a fuck, in a way, even though I could run 10miles in little over an hour, cycle at 130rpm for over 3hours, lift heavy as fuck weights and do hit loads of chin-ups without breaking a sweat, I was just going through the motions. I'd finish a workout, have a protein shake, eat a steak and some vegetables, then about an hour later I'd be eating whole bars of chocolates.
Then I came into some bizarre notion, that I shouldn't even bother running or cycling anymore, even though I love running and cycling, because cardiovascular activity is lame, and all I have to do is lift weights, and I'll be like the Incredible Hulk.
This is like comfort zone deluxe city. Two years ago, I was fat and could barely lift anything, or run or cycle for anymore than 20minutes, now I'm happy to just coast through what would be my only productive outlet, because my ego has taken control, and now I believe that I can just eat whatever the fuck I want and so on and not do shit, and I'll still be in great shape.
Next, I go on holiday, and I end up losing my job.
I get motivated to quickly get a new one, but become increasingly disheartened at the way the 'system' works out. I don't want to work in a call centre, still, I go looking for a job everyday, then I just get fed up, and it's easier just to collect my dole money. Where the fuck is this going to end up?
Well, I've decided it has to stop.
I'm setting my own ground rules.
I can go to the gym, but only after I have been looking for a job EVERYDAY, in a serious fashion.
If I go to the gym it's to get in not only good shape, but faster, stronger, more agile, and will be accompanied by a workout PLAN which will be followed to the letter, EVERYDAY.
I read ONE book a week.
I will update this DAILY.
Peak performance has to start somewhere.
-Michael
Peak
Sunday 11 May 2008
Falling off, and the battle to get back on track...
One of the things I find most disconcerting about myself is how INCONSISTENT I really am. Last year, I spent 9months going to the gym every day, getting down to the best shape I've ever been in, but I would frequently fuck it all up by pigging out on sweets and other junk foods just before I reached my goal.
I do it in other areas too. Really, my life is one MASSIVE goal setting operation, how many of these do I actually achieve? Well, not very many. EVERY time I get close to glory, I fuck up.
I read recently, that once you reach a certain level of success, you are out of your comfort zone, and this cues a part of your mind which tries to stop you. This is very interesting to me, and is something I want to find out much more about, in order to combat this shit. Unless I fall of the frigging wagon again. Ugh.
Michael
I do it in other areas too. Really, my life is one MASSIVE goal setting operation, how many of these do I actually achieve? Well, not very many. EVERY time I get close to glory, I fuck up.
I read recently, that once you reach a certain level of success, you are out of your comfort zone, and this cues a part of your mind which tries to stop you. This is very interesting to me, and is something I want to find out much more about, in order to combat this shit. Unless I fall of the frigging wagon again. Ugh.
Michael
Sunday 27 April 2008
Plans
-Read more
-Work out more
-Learn more about psychotheraphy
-Stop eating so much fucking chocolate
-pull Natasha from work :)
Michael
-Work out more
-Learn more about psychotheraphy
-Stop eating so much fucking chocolate
-pull Natasha from work :)
Michael
Back
I'm going to start updating this again, I started really slacking off this year.
I spend most of my days lately watching The Sopranos and choding out. The least I can do is update this shit.
Going to go and watch MORE Sopranos, and then Wrestling. Rejoining the gym tommorow.
I'll post up later about my recent spending binges, Amsterdam, and all of the usual lifestyle bullshit later on.
Michael
I spend most of my days lately watching The Sopranos and choding out. The least I can do is update this shit.
Going to go and watch MORE Sopranos, and then Wrestling. Rejoining the gym tommorow.
I'll post up later about my recent spending binges, Amsterdam, and all of the usual lifestyle bullshit later on.
Michael
Tuesday 8 April 2008
The End of the World
I've been thinking about Armageddon. I watched a programme the other day about Nostradamus' 'Lost Book', the one where he predicts the end of the world. It all makes sense to me. The world is a terrible place full of egotistical idiots intent on destroying themselves and each other. Humans think they're special and clever, they're the only species I know of which kill each other though, maybes some other animals do, but on nowhere near the scale humans do.
There are two problems in this world, one is the human ego and the other is democracy. The best book I've read lately is A Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. What I particuarly liked about it, was how he perfectly captures the absurdity of human kind. My problem with democracy is, when you give everyone a say, you're creating MAJOR problems. People need leadership, they need to be told what to do. People aren't born the same, some people are born smart, and some are born stupid. Some are born strong and some are born weak, some are born natural leaders, and others have no leadership qualities. Why should weak, stupid people have a say?
If you had all leaders, or ALPHAS they would kill each other. If you had all weak people with no leadership BETAS together, they would end up killing each other too. Sure enough, the strongest beta would take some kind of leadership role, but the leadership abilities of this person wouldn't be on par with the abilities of a natural ALPHA and it would eventually fuck up. What you always had before the last few hundred years was a real structured hierarchy to society.
You'd have a king at the top, the leader, and then orders flowing all the way down the line. Obviously this wasn't always an entirely perfect system and there was flaws, then mostly within the past 100or so years, you have all of these goddamn idiots asking for equality, and some lunatic gives people equality, now the weak BETAS have as much power as the naturally strong ALPHAS and what you're left with is society in decay and a recipe for disaster.
What's inevitable is with this system is, you're going to have the betas end up leading the alphas, because the betas are always more amiable and personable than the naturally assertive alphas, and you'll have the weak and stupid leading the strong and clever. The natural order of things will become more and more repressed until humanity ultimately implodes in on itself entirely.
The only way is down, unless there is a rapid change and humanity shifts from it's present insidious ego-driven ways, and eschews everything and regresses back to the way things were, the human race will destroy itself. Of course, social conditioning will dictate that regressing back thousands of years and eschewing all creature comforts and their ego driven ways, the whole of humanity is every day getting closer and closer to their end. It will dictate that it would mean repressing people, and repression is wrong and equality is moral and the ''right-thing'' to do.
Of course, who really cares about the fact that for the first time in the history of the planet humans have created dangerous levels of global warming from their frighteningly excessive uses of fossil fuels et al, that the whole human race is so perilously close to its own demise and it's all humanities own fault? Who cares about that? Who wants to regress back to the way things were thousands of years ago and actually survive when they have iPods and Nintendo WII's?
This planet is doomed. I predict 2012. Game over.
-M
There are two problems in this world, one is the human ego and the other is democracy. The best book I've read lately is A Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. What I particuarly liked about it, was how he perfectly captures the absurdity of human kind. My problem with democracy is, when you give everyone a say, you're creating MAJOR problems. People need leadership, they need to be told what to do. People aren't born the same, some people are born smart, and some are born stupid. Some are born strong and some are born weak, some are born natural leaders, and others have no leadership qualities. Why should weak, stupid people have a say?
If you had all leaders, or ALPHAS they would kill each other. If you had all weak people with no leadership BETAS together, they would end up killing each other too. Sure enough, the strongest beta would take some kind of leadership role, but the leadership abilities of this person wouldn't be on par with the abilities of a natural ALPHA and it would eventually fuck up. What you always had before the last few hundred years was a real structured hierarchy to society.
You'd have a king at the top, the leader, and then orders flowing all the way down the line. Obviously this wasn't always an entirely perfect system and there was flaws, then mostly within the past 100or so years, you have all of these goddamn idiots asking for equality, and some lunatic gives people equality, now the weak BETAS have as much power as the naturally strong ALPHAS and what you're left with is society in decay and a recipe for disaster.
What's inevitable is with this system is, you're going to have the betas end up leading the alphas, because the betas are always more amiable and personable than the naturally assertive alphas, and you'll have the weak and stupid leading the strong and clever. The natural order of things will become more and more repressed until humanity ultimately implodes in on itself entirely.
The only way is down, unless there is a rapid change and humanity shifts from it's present insidious ego-driven ways, and eschews everything and regresses back to the way things were, the human race will destroy itself. Of course, social conditioning will dictate that regressing back thousands of years and eschewing all creature comforts and their ego driven ways, the whole of humanity is every day getting closer and closer to their end. It will dictate that it would mean repressing people, and repression is wrong and equality is moral and the ''right-thing'' to do.
Of course, who really cares about the fact that for the first time in the history of the planet humans have created dangerous levels of global warming from their frighteningly excessive uses of fossil fuels et al, that the whole human race is so perilously close to its own demise and it's all humanities own fault? Who cares about that? Who wants to regress back to the way things were thousands of years ago and actually survive when they have iPods and Nintendo WII's?
This planet is doomed. I predict 2012. Game over.
-M
Friday 28 March 2008
These past few months 'I've' been in a state of flux. I've noticed a lot of things. One of my revelations recently has been how egotistical 'I' actually am. I have made the decision from now onto be totally honest. To stay aware of the ego. Become more present. Focus on the now more. I'm going to eschew my self-absorbed, selfish and reactive ways and do more for others. Offer all of the value I can.
What it ultimately comes down to, is deep-down self-loathing. I have a deep-rooted inability to be truly comfortable in who I am. This has got to change.
After reading A new Earth I became aware of the true extent of my ego. I felt enlightened, and as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, I felt free to be more honest and open. I stopped doing the whole dancing monkey, seek validation from girls thing a long time ago. I'm still seeking external reassurance though, by being in the very pick-up community, by going on the RSD blog, ''oh, it's okay to be honest and authentic... everyone totally digs that'' or ''the more you put your real self on the line, the more everyone will love you.'' It's all very complicated and complex. The ego is like having a dangerous animal inside of you repressing your inner Hulk Hogan.
Total honesty, no more pretendies, put self on the line fully, live life, have fun, assume absolutley nothing.
Michael
What it ultimately comes down to, is deep-down self-loathing. I have a deep-rooted inability to be truly comfortable in who I am. This has got to change.
After reading A new Earth I became aware of the true extent of my ego. I felt enlightened, and as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, I felt free to be more honest and open. I stopped doing the whole dancing monkey, seek validation from girls thing a long time ago. I'm still seeking external reassurance though, by being in the very pick-up community, by going on the RSD blog, ''oh, it's okay to be honest and authentic... everyone totally digs that'' or ''the more you put your real self on the line, the more everyone will love you.'' It's all very complicated and complex. The ego is like having a dangerous animal inside of you repressing your inner Hulk Hogan.
Total honesty, no more pretendies, put self on the line fully, live life, have fun, assume absolutley nothing.
Michael
Thursday 6 March 2008
Friday 29 February 2008
What I want
I want some time away from all of these people. All of these fucking distractions. I want to sit and read for days on end in peace without having to be subjected to stupid fucking people. I want to stay up all night and watch stupid movies of people being slaughtered, zany cartoons, porn and naked girls cavorting. I want to watch strange sci-fi re-runs from the 1960's and be at peace with myself.
I want to draw pictures and write poems about how fed up I am with life, the status quo, and how I can't find love. How I'm so dishevelled that I can't find love, that I break down every romantic interaction into stages, that I'm constantly ticking off boxes in my head. Attraction, comfort, trust, rapport, value, venue shift, seduction. Running through a list of generic stories designed to illicit reactions, a laugh here, an attraction spike there, demonstrating non-neediness. Is she commited to the interaction? Yes. Am I being cocky and funny? Am I testing? Am I coming across as different in a preferential way? Will she hold my hand? Check. Does she let me stroke her hair? Cool. I can kiss her. When I grab her forearm does her arm end up around my waist? Check, check. Time to make out. Am I being dominant, assertive, unreactive? Yep. Honest and authentic? Well sort of. How well am I empathising with this girl? How much of a connection do we have? Do we have many commonalities? Commonalities are *great* for rapport building.
Am I leading? Are my responses coming from a place of abundance, and core self-esteem? This shit is a blessing and a curse. On the plus side I'm never under any illusions where I stand with a girl. On the down side, I can't find a girl I really like, because their is no thrill. The reactions are predictable. The only thing that ever fucks me over is myself. Even when I fuck up. I just don't care. Simply reframe it. For her. For myself.
I am controlled by my ego. Not the other way around.
I am a no-good talentless, uncreative hack with no originallity. My conversation is banal. I know how to button-push. My personality is an elaborate constructI have created (with help from google) to control conversations. I am becoming robotic. I constantly assess my social position. I am an insecure egoist.
This is who I am. This is a breakdown of my natural personality. My natural personality in a can.
I have no idea who I really am.
I want to draw pictures and write poems about how fed up I am with life, the status quo, and how I can't find love. How I'm so dishevelled that I can't find love, that I break down every romantic interaction into stages, that I'm constantly ticking off boxes in my head. Attraction, comfort, trust, rapport, value, venue shift, seduction. Running through a list of generic stories designed to illicit reactions, a laugh here, an attraction spike there, demonstrating non-neediness. Is she commited to the interaction? Yes. Am I being cocky and funny? Am I testing? Am I coming across as different in a preferential way? Will she hold my hand? Check. Does she let me stroke her hair? Cool. I can kiss her. When I grab her forearm does her arm end up around my waist? Check, check. Time to make out. Am I being dominant, assertive, unreactive? Yep. Honest and authentic? Well sort of. How well am I empathising with this girl? How much of a connection do we have? Do we have many commonalities? Commonalities are *great* for rapport building.
Am I leading? Are my responses coming from a place of abundance, and core self-esteem? This shit is a blessing and a curse. On the plus side I'm never under any illusions where I stand with a girl. On the down side, I can't find a girl I really like, because their is no thrill. The reactions are predictable. The only thing that ever fucks me over is myself. Even when I fuck up. I just don't care. Simply reframe it. For her. For myself.
I am controlled by my ego. Not the other way around.
I am a no-good talentless, uncreative hack with no originallity. My conversation is banal. I know how to button-push. My personality is an elaborate constructI have created (with help from google) to control conversations. I am becoming robotic. I constantly assess my social position. I am an insecure egoist.
This is who I am. This is a breakdown of my natural personality. My natural personality in a can.
I have no idea who I really am.
Thursday 21 February 2008
Breaking down what works...
So I'm on a freaking roll as of late. I feel invincible. I've been thinking a lot lately about being a natural, and what it means to be a natural. A natural to me who just gets the girls without thinking. They run on sheer impulsiveness and voila!
I was on one of my favourite websites the other day, and I realised how much of what I do is still sort of button pushing, reaction seeking based 'game'. I still say things that I know are going to get a particular reaction, move me forward, I still frame control, conciously dominate. Although I've thoroughly internalised TMM now, I constantly sift, note where I am on the Mystery Method model and how to escalate. If we're just working on the basis of doing whatever comes naturally to you, then yes, this is natural for me.
The thing which is concerning me is, how much I (sometimes unconciously sometimes not) require the attention. The disconcerting part is when you start to lie to get your reactions. It just reeks of button pushing. The problem with it is, you're ego begins to crave the reactions and thus delves further into the well, and will create ANYTHING even lies to back up this story you're crafting for yourself, so you can continue to get the reactions. It's validation seeking. So in a way, you're relying on the reactions of others or atleast certain people for your 'sense of self'. Why, am I so determined for people to like me? No. It's a little piece of insecuity, and all insecurity is to me is ego.
The only way is self amusement and garnering your fun from within. From your core. From the fucking sou. For me, I'm on a strict dose of total honesty, Gandhi and Eckhart Tolle from now on. I'm gonna get my fun from putting myself on the line 250%
Start living for myself. FUCK THE EGO. Actually, even saying fuck the ego is giving strength to it, but that's for a different post all together.
Livin' on the edge.
-Michael
I was on one of my favourite websites the other day, and I realised how much of what I do is still sort of button pushing, reaction seeking based 'game'. I still say things that I know are going to get a particular reaction, move me forward, I still frame control, conciously dominate. Although I've thoroughly internalised TMM now, I constantly sift, note where I am on the Mystery Method model and how to escalate. If we're just working on the basis of doing whatever comes naturally to you, then yes, this is natural for me.
The thing which is concerning me is, how much I (sometimes unconciously sometimes not) require the attention. The disconcerting part is when you start to lie to get your reactions. It just reeks of button pushing. The problem with it is, you're ego begins to crave the reactions and thus delves further into the well, and will create ANYTHING even lies to back up this story you're crafting for yourself, so you can continue to get the reactions. It's validation seeking. So in a way, you're relying on the reactions of others or atleast certain people for your 'sense of self'. Why, am I so determined for people to like me? No. It's a little piece of insecuity, and all insecurity is to me is ego.
The only way is self amusement and garnering your fun from within. From your core. From the fucking sou. For me, I'm on a strict dose of total honesty, Gandhi and Eckhart Tolle from now on. I'm gonna get my fun from putting myself on the line 250%
Start living for myself. FUCK THE EGO. Actually, even saying fuck the ego is giving strength to it, but that's for a different post all together.
Livin' on the edge.
-Michael
Sunday 17 February 2008
Night plans
This next 28 days my intention is to get fully back on track with my reading, workout EVERY day. Get my abs totally ripped. I am a vein self-aggrandising douchebag afterall. Listen to Eckhart Tolle every night before bed. Start enjoying myself a lot more.
Fell off the wagon last night. Met my boys Butcher and Andy in White Room 9:30ish. We hang out shoot the breeze go to a couple of bars. Me and Butcher do a few approaches, all open well. ''Who would you rather have sex with Mick Jagger or Rod Stewart?'' I'm impressed at how sharp I am although I haven't been out much at all this year. I see a really hot looking girl. I do my smoothest approach of the night. Seamless transition off the opener, she's grabbing me and pulling me in. I get her number and eject. I'm pleased with myself, although I should have stuck in their longer and escalated until failure. I hate phonecalls and you can't fuck a phonenumber.
Nonetheless, we move on. All is pretty smooth. Go to another couple of bars and then hit the club. Butcher and I are competing to see who can hold a coversation the longest by saying only ''Matt Damon'' I actually stick in their for like fucking five minutes with one girl. I should have just clawed her in and madeout.
Damon is very solid.
We meet a couple of girls I know and go to a shitty latenight pizza place. I order a jacket potato with tuna and sweetcorn, the healthiest most nutritionally balanced dietary option on the menu. Although I shouldn't be eating starchy carbs after dark. Sit down next to one of the girls. Proceed makeout within fifteen seconds. Arguments and tempestuous food throwing is ensuing around me. I am too tired for all of this bullshit. I tell everyone to calm down and shut the fuck up and continue with my makeout session.
My friend and one of the girls leaves. I'm left with the girl I've been making out with. Back to the club. Well fuck, this is just shooting fish in the barrell. Hardcore tongue down, fingering deluxe. I'm concerned that I'm going to ruin the lay by going too far in the club. I qualify her on being a dirty little slut. Do a few minor venue changes. I keep it cool, my frame is tight. I look at the girl and empathise with her. I see the magical little angel within her soul, not the outer dirty little slut. Powerful.
Eventually we leave. Go back to mine. Sex. I kick her out of the house. All in all a decent night. The lay only took a few hours. My hiatus from the drinking and the club scene doesn't seem to have affected me at all. Sharp as ever. Few minor niggles, they'll smoothen out though. Lacklustre post tonight, but hey.
The moral of the story is, the more you do of something. The better you get. The more success you have. You begin to see patterns and from that you can't develop and be successful. Practise doesn't make perfect. Practise makes permanent. Permament practise makes perfect. Therefore aim for consistency.
-Michael
Thursday 31 January 2008
Business
I haven't blogged on here for a while. Business has shifted over to the lifestyle blog for the time being. Glory will be had.
-Michael
-Michael
Tuesday 22 January 2008
Monday 21 January 2008
Michael lifestyle experiment...
As I'm already doing a 30day challenge pertaining to economy. I'm fascinated by what will happen by cutting out alcohol and spending over the course of the next 27days.
-What effect will this have on my state of mind?
-What effect will this have on my bank balance?
-How will this effect mu social life?
-How will this effect my weight?
27 days until I garner the answer.
-Michael
-What effect will this have on my state of mind?
-What effect will this have on my bank balance?
-How will this effect mu social life?
-How will this effect my weight?
27 days until I garner the answer.
-Michael
Saturday 19 January 2008
Temptation is a bitch...
Temptation is a bitch. I was almost tempted to spend £30pounds or so on books. Even though I'm completely unmotivated to read.
I downloaded an eBook containing many Bukowski poems. It is fabulous. After this I think I shall read the poems of Joyce and then about the universe.
I think I will also download Nirvana lyrics. I like the way Kurt Cobain thought. Apart from thinking it was clever to do smack. Obviously.
I'm in desperate requirement of creative inspiration.
In the morning I think I shall have a red meat breakfast. That will be swell.
-Michael
I downloaded an eBook containing many Bukowski poems. It is fabulous. After this I think I shall read the poems of Joyce and then about the universe.
I think I will also download Nirvana lyrics. I like the way Kurt Cobain thought. Apart from thinking it was clever to do smack. Obviously.
I'm in desperate requirement of creative inspiration.
In the morning I think I shall have a red meat breakfast. That will be swell.
-Michael
2008: 30day challenge number 1.
This is something I've decided I'm going to do this year. Set challenges in certain areas of my life in which to accomplish.
The first challenge of the year is therefore to become more economical and have my incomings surpass my outgoings.
My current bank balance at time of writing is £-315.
Day one:
My spending today was £34.54
Today I worked and earned £20.58.
Which leaves me a deficit of -£13.96
My plan of action pertains to stopping drinking, which I believe will save me approximately £150 this month. [Between 13/12/2007 and 11/1/2008 I spent £266.59 on nights out. Actually. It's quite worrying. Over the course of a year that would be s £3199.08 spent on alcohol.]
Of course there's other substantial benefits to not drinking. The economical reasons are what I'm mainly interested in at the moment.
As of this moment. I am no longer a drinker I intend to save thousands of pounds and hundreds of thousands of empty calories this year.
Commuting. I have a lazy habit of getting taxi's. This is also being cut out.
As an aside: I believe I'm owed more money by ASDA. I look forward to getting it very much.
I thinks I'll start saving my pennies this year too.
2008. It's all about the lifestyle.
-Michael
The first challenge of the year is therefore to become more economical and have my incomings surpass my outgoings.
My current bank balance at time of writing is £-315.
Day one:
My spending today was £34.54
Today I worked and earned £20.58.
Which leaves me a deficit of -£13.96
My plan of action pertains to stopping drinking, which I believe will save me approximately £150 this month. [Between 13/12/2007 and 11/1/2008 I spent £266.59 on nights out. Actually. It's quite worrying. Over the course of a year that would be s £3199.08 spent on alcohol.]
Of course there's other substantial benefits to not drinking. The economical reasons are what I'm mainly interested in at the moment.
As of this moment. I am no longer a drinker I intend to save thousands of pounds and hundreds of thousands of empty calories this year.
Commuting. I have a lazy habit of getting taxi's. This is also being cut out.
As an aside: I believe I'm owed more money by ASDA. I look forward to getting it very much.
I thinks I'll start saving my pennies this year too.
2008. It's all about the lifestyle.
-Michael
Friday 18 January 2008
''Speak no English'' (repost from Benrik for posterity)
Woah dude. After the slowest start to the week ever. I was feeling angry. Depressed. Fricking cynical.
It's all turned out pretty cool in the end.
My friend Kay is a professional photographer and asked me to do photoshoot with her. Here are the results:
The last one is the tightest shit I've ever seen son.
I went out for short while last night. Didn't drink. Only notable for my new pickup line.
It started on monday when me and my uni friend Sara hadn't paid on the train. The arguing foreign couple was born. We got away without a fine.
This has spawned the 'Hungarian tourist who speaks no English' pick-up line. It's pretty freestyle. I was in the club last night and was fucking bored due to not drinking. So I'd meander upto a group of girls and start speaking absolute nonsense. Ask for directions to local landmarks and things like that. Pretty solid.
I got one number. Should be interesting to see how the ensuing phone-call goes. ''Szopd le az anyad faszat. We szha go to beach. Sjazs long as you show me direcztion.''
My loser friend whose 21 and still hasn't kissed a girl. Thought this was hilarious and even he started trying to talk to girls.
Michael Dave Chappelle Lifestyle Coaching was born yo.
''Wanna know how to meet girls on the moon? No problem..... our team of experts has dealed with these problems many times and we can solve your sticking points in a *snap*! Michael Dave Chappelle Lifestyle Coaching. We're there to care.''
I've already completed this weeks task. So erm make of this what you will.
Love you all very very much.
-Michael
It's all turned out pretty cool in the end.
My friend Kay is a professional photographer and asked me to do photoshoot with her. Here are the results:
The last one is the tightest shit I've ever seen son.
I went out for short while last night. Didn't drink. Only notable for my new pickup line.
It started on monday when me and my uni friend Sara hadn't paid on the train. The arguing foreign couple was born. We got away without a fine.
This has spawned the 'Hungarian tourist who speaks no English' pick-up line. It's pretty freestyle. I was in the club last night and was fucking bored due to not drinking. So I'd meander upto a group of girls and start speaking absolute nonsense. Ask for directions to local landmarks and things like that. Pretty solid.
I got one number. Should be interesting to see how the ensuing phone-call goes. ''Szopd le az anyad faszat. We szha go to beach. Sjazs long as you show me direcztion.''
My loser friend whose 21 and still hasn't kissed a girl. Thought this was hilarious and even he started trying to talk to girls.
Michael Dave Chappelle Lifestyle Coaching was born yo.
''Wanna know how to meet girls on the moon? No problem..... our team of experts has dealed with these problems many times and we can solve your sticking points in a *snap*! Michael Dave Chappelle Lifestyle Coaching. We're there to care.''
I've already completed this weeks task. So erm make of this what you will.
Love you all very very much.
-Michael
Thursday 17 January 2008
Michael Photoshoot Glory
My friend who I work with gave me a FREE photoshoot yesterday. It went very well. She is a very talented photographer indeed. The one above I like very much. Very mean and moody.
After we went to the Panda and ate lots and lots of food and icecream. It was glorious. Then we looked at guns and went to HMV and talked of dvds. A wonderful time was had.
I'm considering going off somewhere in the world all by myself and not telling anyone where I'm going until I come back. I have to have some freedom and free space.
-Michael
Tuesday 15 January 2008
Quitting is hard
people mistake
comfort
for happiness
the drinking helps
make you feel
comfortable
for a little while
just
long enough
until
you have
your
next drink
it makes you forget
what
a fucking
fag loser
you really
are.
-Michael
comfort
for happiness
the drinking helps
make you feel
comfortable
for a little while
just
long enough
until
you have
your
next drink
it makes you forget
what
a fucking
fag loser
you really
are.
-Michael
Friday 11 January 2008
Focusing on happiness
Somewhere in the world hot girls are getting ready to party at some stupid club. There are boys and girls drinking cheap vodka in some squalor halls and residences ready to unleash their glory. Somewhere in the world an 80year old man is railing some hot girls who are decades younger than him.
I'm lying here. I always thought it was best to maximise the positives and minimise the negatives. Unfortunately, most people with similar philosophies spend too much of their time focussing on what they don't want than what makes them happy.
I've decided to write a list of things I like and would like to focus more time on:
-Ripped abs
-Muscles
-Cardio workouts
-Cultivating a rock-staresque lifestyle
-Girlfriend
-Reading cool shit
-Science fiction
-The Beatles
-Motley Crue
-Cool music
-David Lee Roth
-Money
-Enjoying myself
-Cool dvds
-Video games
-Myself
-Schwinn bicycle
-Eating
The realisation is that I have to step back from people and focus entirely on myself for a while.
-Michael
I'm lying here. I always thought it was best to maximise the positives and minimise the negatives. Unfortunately, most people with similar philosophies spend too much of their time focussing on what they don't want than what makes them happy.
I've decided to write a list of things I like and would like to focus more time on:
-Ripped abs
-Muscles
-Cardio workouts
-Cultivating a rock-staresque lifestyle
-Girlfriend
-Reading cool shit
-Science fiction
-The Beatles
-Motley Crue
-Cool music
-David Lee Roth
-Money
-Enjoying myself
-Cool dvds
-Video games
-Myself
-Schwinn bicycle
-Eating
The realisation is that I have to step back from people and focus entirely on myself for a while.
-Michael
Thursday 10 January 2008
Goal setting...
This is something I always overlooked because I thought I just intuitively knew what my goals were when it came to women and dating. I'm currently re-reading 'Double your dating'. As DeAngelo puts it: a ship without an exact course is just a ship floating at sea.
So what are my goals with women and dating?
Put simply they're simply to be naturally good with women, so I can have more options and more sex and fun. Eventually when I meet the right woman. A nice girlfriend too.
DeAngelo is correct on the principles of goal setting. Without knowing where you want to go. You'll never get there.
He talks about giving yourself permission to make mistakes. This is true as I actually think a lot of my personal growth has came from overcoming fuck ups.
I also agree that you should constantly keep documenting what you're learning and be CONSTANTLY improving yourself. With women. Everytime you talk to a girl YOU'RE improving. Everytime you do weights your getting more ripped and stronger. Everytime you work and then resist the urge to buy junk, you have more money.
Basic fundamentals. But they should never be overlooked let alone forgotten.
More on this ebook later.
-Michael
So what are my goals with women and dating?
Put simply they're simply to be naturally good with women, so I can have more options and more sex and fun. Eventually when I meet the right woman. A nice girlfriend too.
DeAngelo is correct on the principles of goal setting. Without knowing where you want to go. You'll never get there.
He talks about giving yourself permission to make mistakes. This is true as I actually think a lot of my personal growth has came from overcoming fuck ups.
I also agree that you should constantly keep documenting what you're learning and be CONSTANTLY improving yourself. With women. Everytime you talk to a girl YOU'RE improving. Everytime you do weights your getting more ripped and stronger. Everytime you work and then resist the urge to buy junk, you have more money.
Basic fundamentals. But they should never be overlooked let alone forgotten.
More on this ebook later.
-Michael
Wednesday 9 January 2008
Tom Venuto: Burn the fat feed the muscle
The ultimate compendium in fat loss glory. Venuto dissects the art of losing fat very thoroughly. It is so thoroughly researched in fact that I can only muse that Venuto is either the most vain or most anal retentive man in the world. Or perhaps some emalgamation of both.
He provides you with a solid approach. Sets out the mindsets required for burning fat clearly. Then goes into absolute mind boggingly specific detail about setting up perfect meal plans, meal times. Venuto brooks no disrespect when it comes to gastronomy. He then sets out clearly every do and don't in fat loss. Even cracks the occasional wittiscism.
After this. No secret or trick is spared in the ensuing 15 chapters. To cap it all off he gives you solid workout plans suited to your specific body type, a several page list of foods to eat, a complete FAQ, calorific content for commonplace foods organised by their type, a complete bibliography and a chart to log your process.
The only downside is that now I put whey protein powder on my weetabix on a morning. Which I think is a bit odd. Perhaps I am becoming self absorbed, and anal retentive like Venuto. This shit be to shedding your flabby trunk what Atom bomb be to Hiroshima.
Oh well, onto myfooddiary.com to complete my macronutrient ratios for the day.
A+
-Michael
He provides you with a solid approach. Sets out the mindsets required for burning fat clearly. Then goes into absolute mind boggingly specific detail about setting up perfect meal plans, meal times. Venuto brooks no disrespect when it comes to gastronomy. He then sets out clearly every do and don't in fat loss. Even cracks the occasional wittiscism.
After this. No secret or trick is spared in the ensuing 15 chapters. To cap it all off he gives you solid workout plans suited to your specific body type, a several page list of foods to eat, a complete FAQ, calorific content for commonplace foods organised by their type, a complete bibliography and a chart to log your process.
The only downside is that now I put whey protein powder on my weetabix on a morning. Which I think is a bit odd. Perhaps I am becoming self absorbed, and anal retentive like Venuto. This shit be to shedding your flabby trunk what Atom bomb be to Hiroshima.
Oh well, onto myfooddiary.com to complete my macronutrient ratios for the day.
A+
-Michael
Who am I?
It's a philosophical question which has been asked for thousands of years. Now in our petty ego driven society. The question of who you are is even more confusing than ever. Most people spend there days perpetually confused by a sense of conflicting identity.
I'm a big fan of Eckhart Tolle and Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj whose principle philosophy is one that eschews ego. You're not anybody; you just are. I suppose this correlates with that old Taoism thing. ''A tree isn't a tree. Once you call it a tree; it ceases to be a tree. Tree is only a word. A symbol representing something else.''
It's a very long, arduous and complicated thing, all of this ego business. The gist of it is: you are born with self-esteem, and all of the requisite tools to survive and procreate hardwired in your brain. Once your natural self-esteem takes a bashing in nursery and then in the playground, you start to create a story for yourself. Your story about yourself will be good or bad, and you'll look for things in the environment that will corroborate your story of 'who you are'. This is your ego. Now this for a lot of people is where it all gets very confusing.
When you're young, you begin to look for people to identify with. Cliques. You make and accept judgements which define 'you'. Then after a few decades in the most extreme case scenarios you end up in some shrinks office paying hundreds of pounds an hour for ten years. Just to come out with a huge dossier. Like the results of a MySpace quiz times a thousand. And also about a thousand times more confounded than you went in.
Who am I then? Well with all of this in perspective. It becomes tougher to answer. I admittedly have a huge ego. As a child I used to actually believe in my head that under my chubby little bowl haircutted exterior that I was actually a child prodigy and a genius. My grades and class marks said otherwise. My lack of distinct popularity in the playground only served to enforce my vociferous ego. Rather than viewing it negatively. I viewed myself as an outcast due to my prodigious nature of course. A miniature Gallileo.
I carried this with me for years. Always believing to the point of absolute delusion and actually making up lies to reinforce the story of 'who I am.' When the lies weren't enough fuel for my ego, which by seventeen was like a bullimic at a buffet. I resorted to schadenfreude and the classic 'emotional defence mechanism' of I don't give a shit. Or some other permutation of this. I was percieved as arrogant. Of course my ego viewed this arrogance as confidence. I still had the story in my mind that I was an overlooked superhero, sex-god from beyond time who could do anything. No amounts of insults, rejections, or the fact I was grotesquely overweight, had lied my way into university and failed the course were going to change this.
At some point. I can't remember exactly when. I finally realise and accept the hopelessness of my situation. My entire vicarious existence. From then on it was time for a total transformation. Time for action. Time for glory.
Six months at the gym and I start to get on track. My own arrogant insecurity is becoming replaced with a more acute self-awareness. The ego is there. Obviously. Only time and dedication will remove it from me entirely. To get back to a place of total self-esteem. Like when I was a child. The ego is riddled with traps that will catch you offguard. As Tolle says in 'A New Earth': ''It maybe impossible to lose the ego completely. Perhaps the best you can do is just be aware of it.''
I feel it's diminished somewhat. I know these days I'm not so judgemental and reactive. I'm more aware. Last week rather than being what is traditionally considered 'egotistical' and asking what they like about me. I asked them what they didn't.
The conclusion? Well, obstinately: I'm a self-aggrandising, vain, completely self-absorbed, untrustworthy when drunken, Matthew McConaughey obsessed ignorant cunt who talks about himself alot and tends to get angry at people and possibly inanimate objects, says chode a lot, thinks he’s cooler, more intelligent and mature than he actually is. Also spends too much money on protein shakes, but I suppose that falls in with being 'vain.' A cock, a swine and a little shit.
Which isn't quite how I saw myself through my ego. An internet friend of mine off a forum I go on who I've never actually met in real life said this: ''I'd hazzard a guess that Michael is an intelligent guy, not afraid to speak out on any subject whether or not he knows a thing about them, demonstrating his individuality by wearing his hair in a horizontal halo, getting blindingly drunk at every given opportunity, a terror with the girls and an all round wilful wild child who is bewildered when he is called out for it. Peel that thin top layer off him and I reckon that there is a decent, caring bloke with an inborn sense of fairness and concern for others and a wide streak of uncertainty and emotion that he is fighting to hide from the rest of the world in case it takes advantage of him.''
So does any of this help me uncover who I really am? Not really.
Most of it merely defines my outer image as percieved by others. Whilst perception is reality, as they say. Surely without delving deeply into the realms of metaphysics; whilst I accept all of the things bad and good. On the grand scale of things it means fuck all. Like the analogy I used earlier about the psychiatric patient. I'm none the wiser.
To summise. Descartes' famous quote said ''I think therefore I am'' and whilst this is a grand sentiment and would be a brilliant marketing syllogism for the magnificent and almost limitless capabilities of the human mind. Perhaps it's the lesser known Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj who comes closer to the more profound truth. It's when I don't think. ''I just am.''
-Michael (or whoever)
I'm a big fan of Eckhart Tolle and Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj whose principle philosophy is one that eschews ego. You're not anybody; you just are. I suppose this correlates with that old Taoism thing. ''A tree isn't a tree. Once you call it a tree; it ceases to be a tree. Tree is only a word. A symbol representing something else.''
It's a very long, arduous and complicated thing, all of this ego business. The gist of it is: you are born with self-esteem, and all of the requisite tools to survive and procreate hardwired in your brain. Once your natural self-esteem takes a bashing in nursery and then in the playground, you start to create a story for yourself. Your story about yourself will be good or bad, and you'll look for things in the environment that will corroborate your story of 'who you are'. This is your ego. Now this for a lot of people is where it all gets very confusing.
When you're young, you begin to look for people to identify with. Cliques. You make and accept judgements which define 'you'. Then after a few decades in the most extreme case scenarios you end up in some shrinks office paying hundreds of pounds an hour for ten years. Just to come out with a huge dossier. Like the results of a MySpace quiz times a thousand. And also about a thousand times more confounded than you went in.
Who am I then? Well with all of this in perspective. It becomes tougher to answer. I admittedly have a huge ego. As a child I used to actually believe in my head that under my chubby little bowl haircutted exterior that I was actually a child prodigy and a genius. My grades and class marks said otherwise. My lack of distinct popularity in the playground only served to enforce my vociferous ego. Rather than viewing it negatively. I viewed myself as an outcast due to my prodigious nature of course. A miniature Gallileo.
I carried this with me for years. Always believing to the point of absolute delusion and actually making up lies to reinforce the story of 'who I am.' When the lies weren't enough fuel for my ego, which by seventeen was like a bullimic at a buffet. I resorted to schadenfreude and the classic 'emotional defence mechanism' of I don't give a shit. Or some other permutation of this. I was percieved as arrogant. Of course my ego viewed this arrogance as confidence. I still had the story in my mind that I was an overlooked superhero, sex-god from beyond time who could do anything. No amounts of insults, rejections, or the fact I was grotesquely overweight, had lied my way into university and failed the course were going to change this.
At some point. I can't remember exactly when. I finally realise and accept the hopelessness of my situation. My entire vicarious existence. From then on it was time for a total transformation. Time for action. Time for glory.
Six months at the gym and I start to get on track. My own arrogant insecurity is becoming replaced with a more acute self-awareness. The ego is there. Obviously. Only time and dedication will remove it from me entirely. To get back to a place of total self-esteem. Like when I was a child. The ego is riddled with traps that will catch you offguard. As Tolle says in 'A New Earth': ''It maybe impossible to lose the ego completely. Perhaps the best you can do is just be aware of it.''
I feel it's diminished somewhat. I know these days I'm not so judgemental and reactive. I'm more aware. Last week rather than being what is traditionally considered 'egotistical' and asking what they like about me. I asked them what they didn't.
The conclusion? Well, obstinately: I'm a self-aggrandising, vain, completely self-absorbed, untrustworthy when drunken, Matthew McConaughey obsessed ignorant cunt who talks about himself alot and tends to get angry at people and possibly inanimate objects, says chode a lot, thinks he’s cooler, more intelligent and mature than he actually is. Also spends too much money on protein shakes, but I suppose that falls in with being 'vain.' A cock, a swine and a little shit.
Which isn't quite how I saw myself through my ego. An internet friend of mine off a forum I go on who I've never actually met in real life said this: ''I'd hazzard a guess that Michael is an intelligent guy, not afraid to speak out on any subject whether or not he knows a thing about them, demonstrating his individuality by wearing his hair in a horizontal halo, getting blindingly drunk at every given opportunity, a terror with the girls and an all round wilful wild child who is bewildered when he is called out for it. Peel that thin top layer off him and I reckon that there is a decent, caring bloke with an inborn sense of fairness and concern for others and a wide streak of uncertainty and emotion that he is fighting to hide from the rest of the world in case it takes advantage of him.''
So does any of this help me uncover who I really am? Not really.
Most of it merely defines my outer image as percieved by others. Whilst perception is reality, as they say. Surely without delving deeply into the realms of metaphysics; whilst I accept all of the things bad and good. On the grand scale of things it means fuck all. Like the analogy I used earlier about the psychiatric patient. I'm none the wiser.
To summise. Descartes' famous quote said ''I think therefore I am'' and whilst this is a grand sentiment and would be a brilliant marketing syllogism for the magnificent and almost limitless capabilities of the human mind. Perhaps it's the lesser known Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj who comes closer to the more profound truth. It's when I don't think. ''I just am.''
-Michael (or whoever)
Tuesday 8 January 2008
2008: lesson number one
Rebecca is not conducive to ANY of my goals.
Hindsight is a wonderful and glorious thing.
I'm completely shutting myself off for the next four weeks. Minimal internet. No MSN. No chode social networking sites. I have to get myself back on track. For me. Fuck socialising.
I feel inside my own head is the single place where I'm most comfortable right now.
-Michael
Hindsight is a wonderful and glorious thing.
I'm completely shutting myself off for the next four weeks. Minimal internet. No MSN. No chode social networking sites. I have to get myself back on track. For me. Fuck socialising.
I feel inside my own head is the single place where I'm most comfortable right now.
-Michael
Monday 7 January 2008
Getting back on track...
My reading list for the next three weeks is:
1. Burn the fat feed the muscle by Tom Venuto
2. Double your dating by David DeAngelo
3. Journey into the end of the night by Celine
4. Diamonds are forever by Ian Fleming
5. Go tell it on the mountain by Baldwin
6. The Rum Diary by Thompson
7. Barcelona Plates by Alexei Sayle
8. Pimp by Iceberg Slim
9. A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking
10. Memories, dreams and reflections by Carl Jung
2008. No slip ups.
-Michael
1. Burn the fat feed the muscle by Tom Venuto
2. Double your dating by David DeAngelo
3. Journey into the end of the night by Celine
4. Diamonds are forever by Ian Fleming
5. Go tell it on the mountain by Baldwin
6. The Rum Diary by Thompson
7. Barcelona Plates by Alexei Sayle
8. Pimp by Iceberg Slim
9. A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking
10. Memories, dreams and reflections by Carl Jung
2008. No slip ups.
-Michael
2008 goals so far.
Little in the way of incident has happened in the '08 thus far. No new girls. No crazy drunken shenanigans. No fights. No drama.
I intend to keep track of how my New Year missions are going week by week.
Gym.. thus far I'm going pretty much every day. I missed a few days. I'm totally back on track towards ripped abs now though.
Diet... so far I've been disciplined. I'm doing well on this one.
Everything else I'm pretty much failing on so far. I've drank on two occasions in the last six days and smoked. Whilst this hasn't rendered me in idiotoc situations. I know it's stupid. I should develop some kind of self-punishment. Something very masochistic and brutal. Silly Michael.
Dropping out of the skeevy seduction 'world' this shouldn't be too hard. The whole 'community' has pretty much gone down the pan now anyway.
No travel or anything yet. Possible trips to Amsterdam [obligatory] in the next few weeks. Ireland and Barcelona are possibilities.
Reading a book a week. I'm already slightly behind on this. I'll make up for it though. This is due to my incessant choding around last week. I'll finish the Tom Venuto book tonight and then get started on something stimulating.
The blog. Little has happened which is noteworthy thus far. It will get more and more glorious though.
Word.
Social networking sites? Losing interest in them already. Sort of.
-Michael
I intend to keep track of how my New Year missions are going week by week.
Gym.. thus far I'm going pretty much every day. I missed a few days. I'm totally back on track towards ripped abs now though.
Diet... so far I've been disciplined. I'm doing well on this one.
Everything else I'm pretty much failing on so far. I've drank on two occasions in the last six days and smoked. Whilst this hasn't rendered me in idiotoc situations. I know it's stupid. I should develop some kind of self-punishment. Something very masochistic and brutal. Silly Michael.
Dropping out of the skeevy seduction 'world' this shouldn't be too hard. The whole 'community' has pretty much gone down the pan now anyway.
No travel or anything yet. Possible trips to Amsterdam [obligatory] in the next few weeks. Ireland and Barcelona are possibilities.
Reading a book a week. I'm already slightly behind on this. I'll make up for it though. This is due to my incessant choding around last week. I'll finish the Tom Venuto book tonight and then get started on something stimulating.
The blog. Little has happened which is noteworthy thus far. It will get more and more glorious though.
Word.
Social networking sites? Losing interest in them already. Sort of.
-Michael
Friday 4 January 2008
A short story...
2009.
They always had you believe that the future would be full of new innovations. Orwell predicted that the world would be completely changed by 1984. Now it's 2009. We're in a state of regression. Every city looks the same. The people look the same. The last creative genius has ostensibly died out.
These days. You're lucky to get in a knife fight. Let alone zap someone with a phaser. Everyone wants to be a cage fighter. People don't even fight properly anymore. I remember when people used to be obnoxiously drunk. Say imaginative things. Then beat the shit out of each other. This is not a good world to live in. Why's the life expectancy going up? I don't understand this. Why would you want to live longer. In this world. Everyone is a fucking bore.
I wish I could time travel away from all of these dreary people. Maybes back to the dark ages. Times of yore with which hunts. I could find some bitch and nail her ass to the wall. ''Witch, you're a witch. You have no rights. You looked at me the wrong way. Now I'm nailing your ass to the wall.''
So there I was. Thinking. I want to time travel. And then holy deux ex machina, I was zapped up in a incredible bolshy stream of lightening and transported onto a space ship in the year 2342.
I hide behind some kind of wall. There's a lot of corridors on this ugly fucking space ship. And they're all a dreary yellow colour. I walk along. Some kind of intruder alarm goes off. I'm being chased by a slew of boring white robots. Similar looking to daleks. Maybes they were modelled on daleks from the 1960's. Wouldn't surprise me. Everything is probably even less creative in the year 2342. I start thinking about life. It flashes before my eyes. I think about Ayn Rand. That fascist. That bitch.
Then. One of the dalek look-a-like robots stops me. He says Hello. Asks me how I am. He's like the people back in 2009. I tell him the truth. I'm awful. I ask him where the nearest airlock is. I feel bad having to ask.
A few minutes later. I'm standing before the open airlock. Ready to throw myself out in the bleak vast dark abyss of space. Well it's better than living isn't it.
-Michael
They always had you believe that the future would be full of new innovations. Orwell predicted that the world would be completely changed by 1984. Now it's 2009. We're in a state of regression. Every city looks the same. The people look the same. The last creative genius has ostensibly died out.
These days. You're lucky to get in a knife fight. Let alone zap someone with a phaser. Everyone wants to be a cage fighter. People don't even fight properly anymore. I remember when people used to be obnoxiously drunk. Say imaginative things. Then beat the shit out of each other. This is not a good world to live in. Why's the life expectancy going up? I don't understand this. Why would you want to live longer. In this world. Everyone is a fucking bore.
I wish I could time travel away from all of these dreary people. Maybes back to the dark ages. Times of yore with which hunts. I could find some bitch and nail her ass to the wall. ''Witch, you're a witch. You have no rights. You looked at me the wrong way. Now I'm nailing your ass to the wall.''
So there I was. Thinking. I want to time travel. And then holy deux ex machina, I was zapped up in a incredible bolshy stream of lightening and transported onto a space ship in the year 2342.
I hide behind some kind of wall. There's a lot of corridors on this ugly fucking space ship. And they're all a dreary yellow colour. I walk along. Some kind of intruder alarm goes off. I'm being chased by a slew of boring white robots. Similar looking to daleks. Maybes they were modelled on daleks from the 1960's. Wouldn't surprise me. Everything is probably even less creative in the year 2342. I start thinking about life. It flashes before my eyes. I think about Ayn Rand. That fascist. That bitch.
Then. One of the dalek look-a-like robots stops me. He says Hello. Asks me how I am. He's like the people back in 2009. I tell him the truth. I'm awful. I ask him where the nearest airlock is. I feel bad having to ask.
A few minutes later. I'm standing before the open airlock. Ready to throw myself out in the bleak vast dark abyss of space. Well it's better than living isn't it.
-Michael
2007 brief recap.
Mistakes:
I made a lot of mistakes throughout 2007. They were mainly in the first half of the year. I was severly overweight. Obnoxious. And trying very hard to identify with extremely poor role models. I spent half of the year sitting around on the internet. Wasting time reading pick-up bullshit. On chat trying to attract ONE girl. Excuse me, but that is FULL chode behaviour.
The one girl I tried for almost half of the year to ATTRACT. I eventually lost through being a belligerent drunken psycho. A bad theme that would resurface as the year progressed.
What did I do which was right, and in what?
My first revelation of the year came after I'd started going to the gym. We were out playing a game to see who could get rejected by a girl the fastest. Obviously, we were trying to amuse ourselves. Hence why we had a lot of success that night.
The gym. Working out, and having a good body to me gives me a much clearer perspective on everything. And whilst I'm still a naiive young kid in a sense. My relationships with people in all walks of my life have definitely prospered by simply improving and looking after my body. Which in turn gives me more confidence. Which in turn allows me to offer more value back. Kind of like a circle.
After wasting a lot of time reading absolute bullshit. I discovered a few good role-models. How to actually get laid. I got laid. I discovered that rejection doesn't matter. It's irrelevant and something you actually learn from. I'm now on a path of self-actualisation. Things at the moment are looking pretty bright.
What lessons can I learn from 2007?
-Don't waste time procrastinating on the internet.
-Actually talk to girls.
-Be cool and don't say anything stupid.
-Amuse yourself.
-Recognise your ego.
-Read more.
-Drinking is a waste of time.
-Work out. To paraphrase Tom Venuto: ''Being lean feels better than you can eat tastes.''
Time to read some more. Workout, then hit up some girls later on tonight.
-Michael
I made a lot of mistakes throughout 2007. They were mainly in the first half of the year. I was severly overweight. Obnoxious. And trying very hard to identify with extremely poor role models. I spent half of the year sitting around on the internet. Wasting time reading pick-up bullshit. On chat trying to attract ONE girl. Excuse me, but that is FULL chode behaviour.
The one girl I tried for almost half of the year to ATTRACT. I eventually lost through being a belligerent drunken psycho. A bad theme that would resurface as the year progressed.
What did I do which was right, and in what?
My first revelation of the year came after I'd started going to the gym. We were out playing a game to see who could get rejected by a girl the fastest. Obviously, we were trying to amuse ourselves. Hence why we had a lot of success that night.
The gym. Working out, and having a good body to me gives me a much clearer perspective on everything. And whilst I'm still a naiive young kid in a sense. My relationships with people in all walks of my life have definitely prospered by simply improving and looking after my body. Which in turn gives me more confidence. Which in turn allows me to offer more value back. Kind of like a circle.
After wasting a lot of time reading absolute bullshit. I discovered a few good role-models. How to actually get laid. I got laid. I discovered that rejection doesn't matter. It's irrelevant and something you actually learn from. I'm now on a path of self-actualisation. Things at the moment are looking pretty bright.
What lessons can I learn from 2007?
-Don't waste time procrastinating on the internet.
-Actually talk to girls.
-Be cool and don't say anything stupid.
-Amuse yourself.
-Recognise your ego.
-Read more.
-Drinking is a waste of time.
-Work out. To paraphrase Tom Venuto: ''Being lean feels better than you can eat tastes.''
Time to read some more. Workout, then hit up some girls later on tonight.
-Michael
Thursday 3 January 2008
New Year, New... Nothing
"Tell me what a man finds sexually attractive and I will tell you his entire philosophy of life" -Ayn Rand. Quote of the day.
The first few days of 2008 have been pretty much incident free after it's explosive start.
I'm setting aside all of tommorow afternoon to catch up with my reading.
Morning is frenetic gym. Lot of hard work is going to go in tommorow.
I'm reading ''How to win friends and Influence people.''
I'll do a recap when I've finished. I'm going to write a feature article on influential male characters from movies and literature. Mainly movies though. I may do a piece on 'self-improvement books' as they're the basis for my novel. That one might have to wait a while.
I'm on talking terms with Rebecca who was heavily featured on here during november. There should be a few incidents within the next few days.
I'm out.
-Michael
The first few days of 2008 have been pretty much incident free after it's explosive start.
I'm setting aside all of tommorow afternoon to catch up with my reading.
Morning is frenetic gym. Lot of hard work is going to go in tommorow.
I'm reading ''How to win friends and Influence people.''
I'll do a recap when I've finished. I'm going to write a feature article on influential male characters from movies and literature. Mainly movies though. I may do a piece on 'self-improvement books' as they're the basis for my novel. That one might have to wait a while.
I'm on talking terms with Rebecca who was heavily featured on here during november. There should be a few incidents within the next few days.
I'm out.
-Michael
Tuesday 1 January 2008
Michael's lost New Year's Eve
So I'm on a romantic date. The girl I'm with actually tells me she wants a relationship. ''You'd be a great boyfriend. You're hot and very charming.'' It was at this point I was starting to get very drunk. ''Bitch. What're you talking about? I'm not hot and charming. I'm a belligerent drunken psychopath.'' The idea of a relationship terrifies me. I hate the phonecalls.
I phone up Butcher and conspire with him to send me texts saying I have to go early. The girl has the audacity to ask to come to the party I'm supposedly going to with Ben. No. There's more chance of the fucking world ending tonight, than this girl coming to the party. I bid that dumb bitch adieu and meet Ben the Butcher at mine at 7:30.
It was in the comfort of my very own home that shit really started to spiral out of control. We drink a few cans of Fosters and half a bottle of Aftershock. Great. We leave. I don't remember how we left. The next four hours are literally lost.
I wake up in some strange bed. There's a woman standing over me. Disgusted. Apparently her and Butcher carried me in the fucking house. I'd passed out in the taxi. Puked the fuck up outside, and sweared at her a lot. I can't remember. My whole recollection of these hours is gone. Like Jason Bourne.
After a while. I go downstairs. There's a group of people there. The womans husband. He frowns at me with disdain. I go into my typical spiel. I start winning this group of fucking people I've never seen in my life over. They give me more beer and cigarettes. At first I drink slowly. With caution.
Gradually the group of people starts to decline. Eventually there's just me.
I open up a bottle of red-wine and meander up stairs. Butchers lying in bed with the blonde he's seeing. I tell them that I have permission from the owner of the house to drink whatever's in the fridge. Then I go into some kind of addled Bukowki routine. 'What would a man be without drink'? I ask philosophically. Then I go back downstairs. Drink more wine. Talk to myself.
The woman who I originally offended wakes me up in the passageway. She seems to have quite taken to me. She walks me up the stairs and puts me back in the bed I was lying in before.
I regain conciousness at 12:00. Butcher left the fucking house without me. Fucking douche. I go down stairs and talk to the woman I offended the night before and her daughter whose ostensibly Butchers new girlfriend. I regale them in my best Matthew McConaughey voice. I tell them that I can't remember anything. The Aftershock vanquished everything from my mind. We all laugh.
I get a taxi and come home.
I spend the afternoon trying to repiece my memories. Apparently between leaving my house and waking up in the strange bed. We went into town. Couldn't get in a single bar. He saved me from falling face flat into concrete. Stopped me being assaulted by a group of girls after I apparently wouldn't relinquish my drunken 'claw.' He informed me at some point he bought me a bottle of water and a sausage sandwich in a vain attempt to sober me up. Naturally, I don't have the vaguest memory of any of this.
Welcome to 2008.
-Michael
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