Novel Redux

"Would you follow your dreams' desire? Would you follow your secret dreams and forbidden fire? Let's just peel out of this town. It's been nothing but dreams, it's been nothing but dreams....Until now"
I'm onto chapter two of my novel. Martin Allen is turning into a very misanthropic character. Very cold. He's ostensibly becoming Hank Chinaski on steroids.

The story itself requires a clever backdrop. I've set it in 2009. The world is a miserable vast abyss of cities which are all *exactly* the same. Huge shining shimmering skyscapes of drollness. ''The last great literary novel has been written; and has been replaced by the self-help book (and travel guides).''

Martin Allen wants to destroy those who kidnapped his girlfriend. Seek out one of his heroes Jim Steinman. Who he considers to be the last great creative genius. Allen's dillema is: is Steinman still alive? On top of this, Allen is going to have to contend with Commander Schwarz, his new 'employers' and the slight problem of an evil galactic Alien overlord who is simply known as X. He doesn't speak English.

So what I have so farCommando meets Henry Chinaski, in a magical Steinmanesque world.

So what that creates I imagine is a world of sexual lust, leather, motorbikes, extreme violence, clever wordplay set in glorious panavision throughout an over-the-top world of deserts, beaches, jungles and cities with huge sky scrapers that blast through the stratosphere and block out the sun, aswell as dirty terrifying streets with gangs of chrome loving bikers who will kill you as soon as look at you. Can Martin Allen save the world?

The lesson may very well be, can the world save itself?

Or has the magic of life been drained through the bleak miserable purple sky. As Allen later muses ''Maybe Alien overlords wanting to rennovate the world into one nasty deserted pulpit of skulls, bones and slave women; like an overcompensating chinese sweatshop owner aren't the biggest threat to humanity. Humanity is the biggest threat to itself.'' Quite. Allen is very succinct. Of course, with this kind of attitude. It's only a matter of time before Allen wonders why he's bothering to risk his life for a lost cause.

Allen notes, that this may be down to his religious upbringing. He wonders whether hope is truly the human condition.. Perhaps it's only hoping for something better that truly gives us the feeling of being human. And putting yourself on the line and offering something back, may be the most supreme of all human acts. The suffering in the face of adversity is perhaps only what keeps us grounded. ''Maybes if we weren't afraid and our palms didn't sweat. And you want to jump up the nearest tree and hide for all of eternity at the thought of telling the truth and being hurt in the process physically or emotionally. We'd be no better than X the Space Alien.'' It's at this point Allen notices that he said ''We'' averse to his customary ''I''.

He then muses that for all people are stupid. He always had a strong belief in himself. ''With so many people always trying to tear you down, why should you tear down yourself?'' Of course this makes little difference to the stoic and angry Allen. He is terrified by the thought of going into battle against a taskforce of Aliens and X the Alien overlord who he believes may be immortal. And having to truly put himself on the 'line'. The ultimate test of his character. He tries to gain the requisite confidence from his beloved ripped abs. For once, this doesn't work.

It's only when he finally cries himself to sleep. That his mentor comes to him in dream like Obi-wan-kenobi. Stream of conciousness diatribe on human consciousness and ego. Allens ultimate realisation is that for all he is an ego-maniac and has always been somewhat arrogant and deluded. He understands that the ego is merely a story you tell yourself. For all he ultimately tells himself that he is better than everyone in the world. Which he believes to be 'confidence'. His mentor makes him aware that he is deluded. He tells Allen that he is probably 'worse' than many of the human beings whom he disdains. ''At least they don't rely on millions of other people to fuck it all up, just so one individual can feel good about themself.'' he then leaves Martin Allen with the message ''True confidence is there at the very core of your self-esteem. Your soul. It's not in your head. Your ancestors survived and replicated for millions of years just so you can be here now. You can survive. You can even overcome. You have to lose the ego first. Unleash your soul.'' Allen wakes up before he can hear the last of his mentors words. He is even more confounded by thoughts of how he can 'unleash the soul' of which his mentor speaks.

He has to come to the realisation that ''it isn't until he can stop thinking and just act.'' that he is wasting 'his life' away.

That is all for the time being.

-Michael